Justice, and love!

Sometimes it takes nothing more than a child to make you see what you fear most in the world is just that a fear. Recently, a young family member faced the same tragedy I faced as a child. I have struggled with it for many years, too many years. She stood strong she was brave. I realize now that my abusers sins are not mine. What they did to me I should carry no shame. I should not dwell on the events, and allow them to torture me for the rest of my life. I should be proud, proud I carried on, proud I spoke up, and proud that I advocate for those who do not get to speak.  I have been told so many times I shouldn’t speak of such things because it’s the past it should stay there. When someone I love so much faced this heartache it all came back. To know the pain of a child who is scared and confused is the worst heartache, almost as painful as the abuse I endured myself. It is almost as if you are that child again and you feel a sickness in the pit of your stomach. She got Justice, while my abusers were not punished as of yet for what they did, someday they will pay maybe not soon but someday. Someday I will know they have received their rewards for the hell they inflicted on me. I am on no way a religious person; I believe in God, I believe that someday they will know the heartache I have. Maybe the punishment is not mine to inflict or give to them. Perhaps the ultimate punishment they get afterlife will be much more just, I cannot say that with certainly but that is what faith is all about hoping for something you cannot see. Today I have hope, courage, and I feel somewhat vindicated all because one brave little girl had courage and so much strength. While this has been horrible, and should have never happened, what she faced has finally begun my healing. I will not live in yesterday anymore I will live now. I will continue to speak up, I will continue to speak out, and I will continue to peruse my abilities to help those who need help at all costs. Another dynamic I was never given was a family that will not stop. One who stands by you and feels that pain with you. More importantly one who makes sure the one who is victimized gets justice, and so much love. I have always said I never had that or I will never get that. That is so far from the truth this family may not be blood, but they are MY family. We may not get a long all the time sometimes we even hate each other. I have to say though today I am proud to be part of such a group of great people. Not everyone can say that. Lastly my husband who has always told me this when I was down or hurting or reflecting on my past “I don’t have a family who cares” he would say “we are your family we are all you need” well he was right.  I am so proud of every last one of them, especially this child’s parents who did what needed to be done. They protected their child and seen that justice was served! One day this child will look back on this, maybe even with a heavy heart, and say this horrible thing happened but my mom and dad loved me and took care of it!